better half's time-out!

This is the first time in years since coming here in America that I allowed Dennis, my hubby, to take a break, mmm, it’s actually more of a time-out! Lol!

He holds H4 visa, what it simply means is that he can’t work, since he is my dependent.  

It was a relief for me when he gave up his job as a seaman 4 years ago, because that was my dream – for our family to be together. 

Good thing too, because that time our youngest was only 2 years old. Mimoi went to school at 4 years old because of the transition (we needed to move from one state to another).   

I love that he is just at home, doing all house work, with no vices and just focused on us, his family.

Though Dennis made productive use of his time by creating projects for the house, sometimes, there's really nothing to do, so he’d watch movies and tele-novelas all day!

Lately, he opted to attend the early Mass, just so he’d be spared from our hustle and bustle of morning preparation to school, Lol!, I'm sure he's got other reasons! Maybe praying for me! Lol!

But, truly, one needs a break to revive, gather and renew oneself. 

It also troubles me to see that I, in a big way, am accountable to his experiences. It would have been best if he is also progressing and making use of his time, energy, talent and skills to his greater good. But, the current situation is hindering him from doing that.

It’s been 4 days without him in the house, it felt empty. :(

But, kids have grown, Mimoi is 6, Mymy is 10, we all have our own agendas during our free times and with the too many activities lined up for the next week, I guess, we are doing pretty well.

As for Dennis, he’s enjoying his time in California, with his cousin’s family.

A good break, a great time-out!- without us bickering, hollering and pestering him! Lol!

Laundry will be plenty in 3 weeks, he should brace himself! Joke!

All’s good!

NAMASTE.

Finding Equilibrium

Our neighbors are loudly quarreling tonight. I am not sure what it is all about, it's been 30 minutes now and they are still having a discussion.

It is a good reminder for me to keep quiet, as I could also talk loudly and not mind if anybody hears! Lol!

Good thing they continue to communicate because they get to release whatever feelings and emotions they have of each other. 

When my husband and I would argue, he tends to go to his corner and bottle it all up inside. Totally my opposite. If I need to say something, I say it. I am not the type who would silently cradle my feelings. I need to let it out, and once I do that, I'm good. I could forget about it already.

I like it too if he'd talk it out, because I could be a slow learner when it comes to understanding what's wrong. I'd usually choose my battles and not sweat the small stuffs. Well, apparently those small stuffs would get on his nerves and would be the cause of the big fight stuffs. Lol.

Well, the voices upstairs have lowered down. Good. At least they are now beginning to understand, I hope, and settle their differences.

My husband would usually need to sleep it off before he could let out his hurt feelings.

So the rule of marriage, to never go to sleep with an argument unsettled doesn't apply to us. Lol.

As much as I want things to be settled instantly, I can't. 

I have to respect his healing time and since he needs time-out, I just need to give it to him.

Well in 12 years, thank God for our neighbors upstairs, I just realized... I am always the cause why my husband wants time-out! Lol!

Peace be with him. Lol!

As for our neighbors, they are still talking... I hope they find peace too soon! 

Mi Amor

This was written on October 8, 2000. Our Wedding Day.

YOU 

 I dreamt of you.. long before.. years ago… 

 Funny now.. I remember.. I would rush God for you

All the while, He would pacify me and tell me to WAIT a while.

“Wait a while”! “But, I have been waiting for long!”

And then He would lead me to other matters…

His way of preparing me to meet you.

I dreamt of you.. long before.. years ago…

Didn’t know then that I was forming you…

.. in my mind… in my heart… in my soul…

Funny now.. how dreams do come true

In time.

In God’s perfect time!

I’ve met you when I was ready..

Molded by God to meet you.

And  right there and then, I know…

It was you… 

I dreamt of you.. long before.. and here you are!

 As if we’ve communicated in our dreams for long…

As if we were long time friends who have met again…

As if you’re my twin, lost in heaven…

Dreams can be realized – indeed!

I dreamt of you.. and here you are!

My heart thumped so hard, ready to fall of my chest

You were just a dream.. and here you are!

And God was grinning, “My design, my child, my design”.

I was bewildered, stunned, shocked, mesmerized.. in all truth!

But deep within, my heart was full of gratefulness..

For God said “ Wait.. I have something good for you…

And you will know in Time!”

And it has come to pass. His word was realized.

My dream came true.

You found me. I welcomed you.

We smiled. We laughed. We cried.

We talked in words, in action, in silence.

We held hands. We kissed and embraced.

We made our vow, “to have and to hold,

From this day forward, until death do us part”. 

And who would have thought? – a simple dream…

A dream of you…, came true!

 Happy 12 years Dennis, love you :)

The Transition: From "Single" to "In-A-Relationship"

The real story. Lol.

At 24 and still single, my friends and I decided it was time to start dating. The great thing about it was we actually got to eat for free, and saved some bucks on transportation. Lol.

But yes, we were actually very decided on having a relationship already. And so we dated.

There were some guys who were passed on from one to another. Lol! (Well, for obvious reasons, like, the guy was generous, but not her type, but since he was generous, might as well, check him out too! .. and so - happy-tummy! hahaha)

I am not sure if the Universe conspired with us, when we declared to ourselves and to each other that "This is it! We will start dating and we will find ourselves a boyfriend!". 

I think the declaration mattered most! Lol!

Why? because it happened. We all got into relationships that same year!

It was as if, meant to be. But, not until we were decided to let it happen. Until then, it was just a thought- when we declared and took the dive, it all happened! - and we had a blast!

Yes, everything has its time, place and season. Everything has a reason. But, until we find that reason and purpose for ourselves, it will just remain a dream. 

Until we do something from within, nothing will change.

My two cents.

NAMASTE.

Playing Chess!

I once asked my hubby to answer an abstract IQ test. This was like after 3 years of being married. Guess what? He aced it!

Mmmm, I wouldn't say we have the best relationship ever.. we fight, more on I fight, Lol! Being the eldest, I see myself as a leader, even during school days. - and then MARRIAGE. That's a different ball game altogether!

I fight because I need to submit to his ways of doing things (which makes sense actually) but I'm just too stubborn to admit and to proud to bow down.

So we fight. But through the years, I guessed I've changed - which is good. Because now, I just appreciate God for him.

Coming here in the US with me and the kids means that he'd simply serve us.

Well, when we get our permanent residency then he'll be permitted to work. 

But until then, he's not legally allowed to work, so he works for us. 

He cleans the house, the toilet, the kitchen, the car;  he launders the clothes, hangs it dry, folds it too!; he sews ripped shirts, pants, pillows, makes car seat covers, bags, drapes and curtains; he fixes things, he creates from scratch, he drives, he arranges the living room, the bedroom; the clothes in the closet; the bags; he washes the dishes; cleans the oven; he recycles; he gardens; he sweeps falling leaves and shovels snow; he carries all the heavy bags and stuffs; he carries the water while we walk, lol!....

He's really too good to be true! but he is, well, he's got his moments and pet peeves too like we can't eat in the car nor in the living and bedroom and he doesn't like it if we are LATE for mass- among others! :) .. but mostly I think he's really one-of-a-kind. (Related post here Dennis, the Great and here Dennis and Gardening)

... and then he asked me to play CHESS with him.

I lost.

Grrrrrrr! 

P.S. I cook, Lol!

On Separation and Divorce

My mind is wandering ..
 

What comes around, goes around really.

I was taken aback when my cousin shouted out  "why continue a commitment with someone, when you know that it wouldn’t last" point taken as she is coming from her own experience..

And made me ask myself too.. yeah why continue a commitment.. as we speak of marriage.. Do we continue to be married if along the way

            a) there are too many personality differences?

            b) quarrels, misunderstanding, fights can’t seem to be over?

            c) immaturity and insensitivity continues to take over?
 

Marriage entails all.. sacrifice, commitment, maturity, forgiveness, understanding, patience,, care and love.. For sure one would hold on to his/her last breath to save a marriage.. In the first place it has been decided upon.. And yet.. yup too many issues and talks involved!
 

What about the children??

- Do we take them into consideration? When you know the more they will be affected if both cannot impart love that should be there in the first place?

-For how long do we sacrifice personal happiness for children’s sake?
 

As given a fact that we are accountable and responsible for them.. we too, are responsible and accountable for our own happiness right? And we cannot give what we do not have… Ohhh never realized how complicated it may get..
 

She said “why continue a commitment with someone, when you know that it wouldn’t last" funny, how along a married life, the excitement of the wedding,, the first born, .. in your heart in time you’ll feel it wont last! But if love is a decision, I guess despite the feeling, you won’t entertain it.. or in one way or another entertain it and then fix it.. communication being the key.. the problem lies if one doesn’t want to communicate at all… guess there’s more to this than these!
 

There may be reasons personal to the ones involved.. and probably simply I do hope one would get to know his purpose for living .. and maturely face responsibilities no matter what.. and commit to the commitment made… hard fact to face but as one friend also blurted out "life does not always turn out the way you planned it".
 

And if whatever comes around, goes around.. let there be no blames, no unnecessary comments, no unsolicited advice.. but simply understanding, respect, care and prayers. And personally hope too, that whatever may come around, will simply be as simple as a television - drama scene that we can switch off and or change channels anytime... and we know there is more than  meets the eye.

I thank God for you!

“I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower... I think that she has tamed me...” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

I looked at the mirror, feeling all the confidence in the world.

I looked at the mirror, loving myself,

I looked at the mirror, seeing who I really I am.

Funny, but not too long ago...

I didn't feel the same...

I felt insecure and unloved...

BUT

I handled it well...

So it didn't show...

THAT IS WHY

I thank God for you..

"Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass, since she's the one I sheltered behind the screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). Since she's the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince